Mine
by 00Zero
Summary: Don't be too cruel! You have everything including his heart. All left of him for me is his memory. Don't take that away too. edited and complete.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Inuyasha**

**Special thanks to The Life Of A Girl for editing. ^^  
**

**A/N: I have a feeling that many people don't like Kikyou and it made me want to write this piece. If taking a look at her pov, she's not so bad. Personally I love her character for being independent and strong.  
**

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He was mine! Even when I closed my eyes to join the dead, even when I pinned him to the tree to eternal sleep, he was mine. Even in the chaos, when I was hurt, with one foot in death's door, I still loved him. Why else would he have only been sealed when I could have easily killed him?

Inuyasha was _mine_. I wasn't a possessive person, but I was with him. I never asked for anything and performed my duty with my life, never asking for anything in return.

I masked my weaknesses – threw away all my greed and stood alone, aloft… I never trusted anyone or show any weakness.

How lonely I was.

Because I knew I was responsible for more than just my neck. If I were to die or fail to protect the jewel of the four souls and let it fall into the wrong hand, many, many others would perish and the blood would be on my hands.

Yet I gave up everything for him, including my long time duty, just so I could be with him.

Inuyasha… he was the first man I had come to trust and love and allowed my hard shell to go soft.

_Vulnerable_.

I had come to love him – whether he was a man, a demon, or a half-demon, he was important enough to me to make all of my selflessness be overridden. I could be normal – be a woman. For the first time in my life… I wanted to be just a normal woman.

For him.

He's the first person I wanted to call mine. Even when my vision dimmed to black and my heart came to a stop, I still believed he was mine.

But I was wrong – he betrayed me!

He chose that _girl_, Kagome. How could he?

I know it has been fifty years since I died but then he was as good as dead as well – he was sealed to a tree. Yet as soon as he opened his eyes, he changed his mind. He easily fell in love with the girl next to him in only a few months of being with her.

That's just proved how weak his feelings were for me!

That's what hurt me the most. No, what hurt me more than anything was the fact that I still love him, and _only_ him.

Funny how he would always avoided Kagome's eyes after seeing me but he never shows any guilt towards _me_ – even though he had totally betrayed my love. He was my lover and now he loved another girl. He is always with her; day and night, yet he never once considered how I would feel.

He rejected me when he chose Kagome and that was enough. I gave up trying, for I knew he no longer wanted me.

I know my body isn't made of fresh and blood, but so what? If I were in his shoes I would still wanted to be with him – as long as it was him. I would follow him to hell just to be with him!

Why else would I choose to die after I sealed him? But what did he do?

He never even chased after me. Instead, he stayed with his new girl like the good little puppy he was. He was so wishy-washy he couldn't even choose between us and that's exactly what I hated about him.

Kagome too!

The girl acted like she was going to died and "**SITs**" Inuyasha like crazy just because he saw me! Abused the power she had for personal reason just because she could. I never disrespect Inuyasha like that.

Kagome had no idea how much I wished I could trace place with her. I knew she felt uneasy, but so what? He was hers anyway; she'd gotten what she wanted. He was hers, always – always at her sides and would come running at her call.

All I could do was watching the man I loved, and always would, who had had the change of heart. Each time I saw him, he was drifting father and father away, both physically and emotionally. We never talked anything, but business.

If she were to be in my shoes, I wonder what she would do, being a living doll without a real fresh and blood body. The only man I have ever loved was in love with another woman. All I could do was watch from darkness; not even daring to get close to him and hope that he might still wanted to be with me.

I did not want to know that he had loved another girl.

Kagome was having a normal life; an ordinary girl who could laugh or cry at will without restriction or consequences. She did not have to hide her weakness because there were no enemies who watched her like a hawk, awaiting her mistakes.

She grew up in a warm family and lived a carefree life. She had everything – a body, power, a future and most of all, she had Inuyasha's heart.

Being the girl who went teary and commanded Inuyasha to _'sit' _just because he saw me for a brief moment… I wonder what she would do were she in my shoes.

I am a strong person. No, I _wasn't _strong. Tears were just not my thing. I did not allow myself to cry even when I was killed by Inuyasha, (the fake Inuyasha) the man I loved.

I wasn't strong, but I had always buried my weaknesses. I didn't want to be rejected outright when I already know who Inuyasha had chosen. I would not humiliate myself by begging for the lover who no longer loved me.

Being pitied.

Yes, pride. The only thing I had left that would make me looked strong. Of course I wasn't strong, but I did not have a choice. What choice did a dead girl have?

I put all my strength into defeating Naraku, the true enemy who had ruined my life.

I acted as tough as I could and hid my true feelings. Every time I met Inuyasha, I never stayed long and would quickly leave him – leave him before my weak heart would betray me and I would wind up begging for his love and attention, confessing my true feelings, let loose the restriction of my heart and tell him how much I still loved and wanted to be with him. The sight of him alone made my heart ache.

But I would never tell a soul.

The knowledge that he now loved another girl was like a blade.

"_I know Inuyasha can never forget Kikyo and I accept that as a part of him_,_"_ Kagome said.

_Don't be too cruel!_

_You have everything including his heart. All left of him for me is his memory. Don't take that away too. Don't make me disappear from him like I was never a part of his life. Let him keep that part that was ours, the time when his heart beat for me and me alone. The part that's mine. _

**Mine. **

_Don't you dare take that away…_

_._

"You have come for me and that's enough," I told him before I died the second time. It wasn't a lie for I already knew this day would come.

Our departure.

But deep down I still wanted every part of him for myself, even though I knew I could not have him. I loved him, just seeing his sad face was enough to make me want to stay. Even if I was not made out of fresh and blood but bone and soils, even if I was cold instead of warm, I still wanted to be by his side.

I loved him enough to leave him behind. The same love that saved his life the first time I died. I wanted him to have a happy family – a family I could never have with him. Even if it was with another woman I wanted him to be happy.

"Don't cry," he heard my voice as my body floated up and turned into dust.

What he did not heard was my silent heart pleading to him, begging him,

_"Don't forget me."_

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_**J**, Thanks for the review. Since you reviewed as a guest, there's no way for me to pm you back so I am answering you here. First of all, sorry about the grammars. And thanks for pointing them out. I now have The Life Of A Girl fixed it :D  
_

_I mean to say **Independent**, not **indecent. ** I have the habit of writing at night and updates right before going to bed. :) I fixed it  
_

_You have many good points here. But love often made people act childish. Also Kikyou has always been living as an adult and not given the chance to be childish or selfish. she is very strong, but i think she has weakness too. She just never showed them.  
_

_I think people are looking at the story from Kagome Pov so we don't feel Kikyou's side of the story as much. Since Kagome is the first to be introducing to us, win our hearts, when Kikyou appears, she makes people feel like she is the third wheel. _

_**"I know Inuyasha can never forget Kikyo and I accept that as a part of him**," it's not the exact line because I don't know where exactly the line is. I just remember she say something like that and I think it's okay since it has the same meaning. Sorry for those who want the specific line. _

_I am glad that you concluded that you liked the story. ^_^ That means a lot to me. Once again, thanks for pointing out the flaws. _

_(published Nov, 6, 2012, Edited, Jan 28, 2013)  
_


	2. Kikyou

_I do not own Inuyasha_

_A/N: this is the first version of the first chapter. technically they are the same story, but with a total different voice telling the story (or so i think). I decided to write the previous chapter because i thought this one is a bit lost. However after __**The Life of A Girl**_, (my beta) gave a magic touch on it, the flow suddenly become a lot better. I feel like it would be a waste to not post it so i post it here. Give it a try. if you would be kind enough, let me know which one is better. Thanks for the read.

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Before Kikyo was a woman, she was a priestess. Before her own needs, she had responsibilities. While other girls her age worried over their beauty, clothes and socialising with their friends, she was patrolling, making sure the village was safe and well-guarded.

While other girls ran away from danger, searching for strong arms for protection, she walked towards them, putting her life on the front line, facing threats and fighting evils.

Beautiful, with long raven coloured hair, wearing a white kimono and long ruby skirt, a bow and arrow always strapped to her back, her path was a lonely one. She was alone… Always alone.

She trained herself to be strong, wearing an emotionless mask, hiding all her weaknesses. Because if she were ever fall, not her alone would go down, but many more innocent lives would perish along with her. It was the heavy burden she carried as the priestess who protected the jewel of the four souls.

The jewel that granted wishes.

Her mind had to stay pure, because the jewel could be good or evil depending on its owner. Not even for a second did she allow herself to wish she could be just a regular woman, for that too could lead to her destruction.

Her duty was to protect it and not let it fall into the wrong hands and because of that, all kinds of demons came after her.

Inuyahsa included.

The handsome half-dog-half-demon had long beautiful hair and adorable dog ears. He would always wear a red outfit, woven out of fire rat demon skin serving as armour. Always wearing that cocky grin, filled with sharp canines and throwing back snappy replies... that was Inuyasha… Inuyasha who would change her life forever.

Without hesitation she had always eliminated any threats that came for the jewel, yet she could not bring herself to end his life. She saw herself in him-the lone half-demon who was shunned, ridiculed and treated brutally by both humans and demons. He was forced to be strong, standing with his back straight, defeating enemies' singlehandedly, surviving the cruel world all on his own.

He always came back for the jewel and she would stop him, yet never harmed him. Soon, it became a game to them… perhaps more than that. They looked forward to their meetings, competitive spirit flaring as they faced each other and for once she opened her heart to someone and let down her walls, trusting that he would watch over her.

She, who had never trusted anyone lowered the fortifications of her heart and let him in. From sympathy they became companions and from companions, lovers.

The strong, pound, responsible woman was willing to abandon her duty-the duty that she gave her life to protect in order to be with him, hoping to turn him into a human, wishing to be a normal woman just for him.

If it wasn't because of love, then what would it be?

Yet all that awaited her was betrayal!

Of course the lovers did not know that it was the work of the spider demon Naraku, who was born out of the hopeless man, Onikamo who had sold his soul to the demons in hope of conquering Kikyo's heart. The badly burned Onikamo who she had shown pity to, had become Naruku and planned a trap to make them believe they had betrayed each other. They fell right into it.

She died in vain, filled with nothing but hatred and bitter betrayal.

Even with her last breath, her duty was not forgotten. Her arrow aimed true and pinned her lover, the handsome silver haired boy to a tree. There she kept him in eternal sleep, believing he was stealing the jewel.

Even at her weakest with the burning claw wounds on her back and the agony from being tricked and betrayed by the one she loved and trusted, she could not hate him. Why else would the arrow seal the demon when it could have killed him instead?

She died true to her character and her duty. She did the right thing and protected the jewel even after her death. She brought the jewel with her to the next life.

However she was brought back to the world of the living by an old, wrinkly and power hungry demon woman because the jewel had returned to the world by a young girl named Kagome.

The witch wanted Kikyo to search for the jewel that had been scattered all over the world. She had the ability to locate the jewel and the demon thought she would obey like a doll the demon wanted her to be. Yet the demon was wrong and was killed right after Kikyo was brought back to life, if you could call it life, being made of soil and forced to consume souls to stay alive.

And when she came back to life, he was before her-the beautiful boy Inuyasha who had stolen her heart and given her the dream that had led to her ruin.

He looked not a day older even though fifty years had already passed from the day she died.

The nasty wounds that once had cost her her life had reopened and the hated and resentment still burned within her as if it were only yesterday.

Still, she soon learned truth that Naraku was behind everything, but what could that fix? For it seems his heart has changed.

Yes, it had been fifty years since she died, but he had slept almost as long. How many moons then, had he been around the other girl, Kagome? And yet, his heart had already changed and grown enough to made room for not just one, but two women.

Kagome, Kikyo's reincarnation had been leaping through time from five hundred years in the future to the past. She looked and smelled almost exactly the same as Kikyo, yet she wasn't Kikyo.

Kikyo belonged with the dead and could not stay in the living land. She wanted to bring Inuyasha with her to be together yet he refused.

He chose to stay with Kagome. His heart had changed.

What was wrong in wanting him, the man she loved, by her side? Why else would she choose to die when she sealed him away just so she can be with him?

Even if they were in hell she wouldn't care as long as they were together.

His heart was too easily wavering and she cursed him for that, while she remained the same, only seeing him-would always see him and only him.

She cursed Kagome too for the way she was uneasy anytime Kikyo crossed paths with him, even for a brief moment. She wanted to kick Kagome for that!

Kagome had everything that Kikyo had ever wanted-flesh and blood, a future, Kikyo's soul as well as her power… everything but Kikyo's tragedy. Kagome could be a normal girl who could laugh and cry, smile, be sly and show any emotion she wanted.

Most of all, she had Inuyasha's heart and love.

Kagome was there beside him, always beside him. She could see him before closing her eyes at night and woke up to see him, always around him anytime she wished. She could share his happiness, sadness, smile, anger, heartbreak… her whole life could be spent with him and whenever she would call, Inuyasha would come running.

Unlike Kikyo who could only watch him from a distance, not even able to touch him.

Strong and proud, she stayed the same after death. She had to accept the cruel truth-she had no place in the living world.

Inuyasha's heart has changed. It hurt her to the point of being unbearable but shedding tears was not her nature, not even when she was killed by the fake Inuyasha.

She did not want pity, with what little dignity she had left, she remained strong, even if it was nothing but a façade.

Maybe what Inuyasha had for her had not even been love to begin with. He did not chase after her and had easily given up just because she was a living dead. Instead, he obediently stayed at Kagome's side like the good puppy he was. If he truly loved Kikyo, he would have pursued her to the end of the earth, even to hell he would chased after her.

She had chosen to die with him.

And he chose to live and protect Kagome-the girl who now owned his heart.

With what little self-respect Kikyo had left, she focused everything on defeating Naraku. Each time she crossed path with Inuyasha, all she discussed was business. She did not want to mislead herself and be given a fruitless hope that he might still wanted to be with her and that they could still have a life together.

Kikyo did not fail to notice the burning uneasy, angry eyes staring their way. The hopelessness Kagome displayed as she sulking over Kikyo and Inuyasha.

Kagome had no idea just how much Kikyo wished she could trade place with her. To be with him, feeling his warmth and not just searching for him in her dreams. Yet even wishing was not allowed to the dead girl. She was dead.

Quickly she left Inuyasha before her heart would betray her and beg for his love and attention, confessing her true feelings. The sight of him alone made her heart ache.

The knowledge that he now loved another girl was like a blade to her non-existent heart.

"_I know Inuyasha can never forget Kikyo and I accept that as a part of him_," Kagome had said.

_Don't be too cruel!_ _You have everything including his heart. All left of him for me is his memory. Don't take that away too. Don't make me disappear from him like I was never a part of his life. Let him keep that part that was ours, the time when his heart beat for me and me alone. Don't take that away._

"You have come for me and that's enough," Kikyo said before she died the second time. It wasn't a lie, for she already knew this day would come.

Their departure.

Deep down she still wanted every part of him to herself, even though she knew she could not. She loved him and just seeing his sad face was enough to make her want to stay, even if she was not made out of fresh and blood but bone and soil, even if she was cold instead of warm, she still wanted to be by his side.

She loved him enough to leave him behind, the same love that saved his life the first time she had died. She wanted him to have a happy family, a family she could never have even if it was with another woman.

"Don't cry," he heard her voice as her body turned into dust.

What he did not hear was her hearts silent plea begging out to him out to him; _remember me_.


End file.
